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Tuesday, January 29, 2002
Amateur porn meets Christopher Lowell
I have to admit this site had me giggling for days. Found this link via encorswish's site. Obscene Interiors and Obscene Interiors 2 is a candid and tititlating look at amateur porn from an interior decorating perspective.
posted by Sandra at 3:13 PM
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Be afraid... be VERY afraid...
Geno, an officially ordained MINISTER?!?! So WRONG! Well I suppose I should just be grateful that they specify under the terms of his new capacity as an ordained minister that he is not allowed to do circumcisions. According to the Universal Life Church, he IS allowed to start his own ministry... what the hell would THAT be? The Ministry of Gay Blog Boys who Love The Color Orange?! God help us all.
posted by Sandra at 2:51 PM
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Monday, January 28, 2002
Big Mac's or canapes...?
Just been pondering the whole idea of dating and wondering why it is that everyone I know that is actively dating seems to be quite disappointed and disgusted by the whole thing. Or similarly, the whole idea of "casual sex" seems to just cause more problems than it's worth. Now why would that be? If people are just out to have a "good time" then what happens to the "good" part of that, and seems to create such drama? Well I think I've found a quote to sum it all up.Think of it this way: fast food and luxurious dinners both have their place. But trying to get a gourmet experience from McDonalds or a quick bite at the Ritz will lead to disappointment and conflict. The problem isn't with Big Macs or canapés, it's with trying to get something from a place that can't give it to you. I think this is it. People going to the wrong places with the wrong expectations, setting themselves up for a "no-win" situation.
posted by Sandra at 4:25 PM
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This whole commenting system is just not working. maybe the server is down. ahhh the joys of technology!
posted by Sandra at 2:05 PM
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Question.
If I give someone a m@ssage, is it then, by nature an "oriental mass@ge"?
posted by Sandra at 1:51 PM
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The Voice of the People?? This is NOT a democracy!
Well ok, I suppose because I have such outspoken friends, they are not just content to sit back and read the ramblings from my "cerebral dustbowl" ... hey! does that mean, my posts are merely "cerebral dust bunnies"?? Anyway, it seems that a certain "reader" (aka Yoda, who lives in Egypt-land, Oregon and whose ability to upload files seems to be dependent on whether or not IT IS TOO COLD OUT!) was rather frustrated by his inability to respond to one of my posts. Sooooo... just for you Yoda (and anyone else that would like to add their 2 cents), I've added "comments." We'll try this out for awhile and see how it works. Hope I set it up right.
posted by Sandra at 5:11 AM
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Weekend recap: little sandwiches and teeny tiny spiders
My friend Cat (aka Crazy Scottish Chick, Twin A) has started a new job after a long, frustrating and unemployed convalescence. Personally we are all convinced that she had some bizarre, 17th century, Jane Austen sort of ailment, the treatment of which actually required NOT a visit to the Haight Street Clinic but just a good dose of leeches and blood-letting. To celebrate her return to the working world, I had promised her a bit of "comfort food" which for HER means having high tea. After an unsuccessful attempt to have high tea (tried 5 different places) last weekend and running all over the city, we ended up having Vietnamese food... not exactly an english tea but hell, we were starving by that time! So, this weekend, reservations were made and we were off to Lovejoy's, the BEST tea house in the city!! WOO-HOO! Conrado drove into the city to join us for a Sunday afternoon tea. We even remembered to fill in gas first! We ordered lots of little bitty sandwiches with the crusts cuts off, scones, crumpets, double devenshire cream, and LOTS and LOTS of tea. This is what we had waited two weeks for! She needed a little bit of coddling. With the arrival of the little sandwiches, Cat was in Scottish Heaven and ecstatically reached for the long awaited petite triangles of culinary delight (leave it to the English to call eggs, onions and butter a culinary treat but whatever!) ... She goes to take a bite, sandwich halfway to her mouth.... she suddenly stops... eyes the sandwich suspiciously...
Cat: Ach! There is a spider on my sandwich!!
Me: huh?
Cat: **holding sandwich up for me to see ** see??
...and sure enough, there is THE teeniest, tiniest spider I have ever seen happily scuttling about the corner of her sandwich! We get the attention of one of the waitresses and Cat shows her the "spider sandwich," saying that she didn't want to kill it. Needless to say they are HORRIFIED and the sandwich-with-spider is quickly wisked away. A new, "spider-less" plate of sandwiches appears. The waitress apologizing profusely, "We are SO sorry!! What can I say?! **setting down the plate** ... maybe 'good luck' on this one??" We returned to enjoying the rest of our tea and sandwiches.
Me: I can't believe there was a spider on your sandwich!
Conrado: It was just a little one at least.
Cat: oh, it was just a little dust spider!
Me: Well good thing you saw it BEFORE you took a bite!
Cat (who has been a vegetarian for over 10 years and quite resolute about NOT eating "animal" as she puts it): Yeah, I almost ATE the thing!
I just don't know. The idea of a vegetarian eating a live creature just strikes me as humorous. She was not upset about having an arachnid on her food, just that she hadn't eaten it!
posted by Sandra at 4:07 AM
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Weekend recap: eyelashes and creme brulee
One of the things that we have all been very excited about here in SF, is this whole Dine About Town affair. It's a great way to try some very pricey restaurants for some pretty reasonable prices. It has been fun trying some new restaurants as well as re-visiting some of our favorites like Farallon, Postrio's, etc. Well this weekend, James, Conrado, and I decided to go to Pacific in the Pan Pacific hotel as most of the other restaurants were completely booked. In the past, this restaurant has always had amazing food even though the service is sometimes slow. This night, the service was painful. I think they only had 2 waiters for the whole restaurant! We made it through the entire dinner which was just "ok" for the most part. However, for dessert, Conrado and I were very excited to try their creme brulee. They usually have an outstanding creme brulee!
Conrado: What are these little black specks at the bottom of my creme brulee?
Me: Those are vanilla bean "particles" or something, Conrado.
Conrado: oh, ok. What is this little brown hair-like thing at the bottom of my creme brulee?
Me: what?!
Conrado: hmmm, you think this is MY eyelash or someone ELSE's eyelash?
Me: WHAT?! ewwwww!
** sure enough there is an eyelash in his dessert **
Conrado: Ick! and I practically ate the whole creme brulee!
James: Can we get the check please?
posted by Sandra at 3:46 AM
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Weekend recap: PS2
So as is a typical weekend at my place, the Mid-Western Str8 Guy (#1) came over and much PS2 was played. This weekend it was Silent Hill which, although it was a beautiful game, had a strange COMPLETELY CONFUSING storyline. However, I DID find it humorous that the main character's name was James. James didn't think it was very humorous which I suppose is understandable seeing as much of the game included a dead wife's erie voice saying, "...James!! James?? Where are youuuuu? Don't you loooooove meeeee?" Here are some comments I've seen on Silent Hill 2. Now I don't feel so badly!
"The story also is unclear to me, even after playing it through 3 times, I'm still uncertain as to what the whole story is about."
"Hello? Story? You there? Where are you? Yeah, there is a point in what your doing. But what's going on? Each time I played through this game I prayed this question would be answered. But even as I sit here now, I have no clue."
"It is so vague it is hard to understand most of why certain things are or are not."
Whew! Thank god, James, we weren't the only ones who thought the plot of this game .. well.. sucked. :-) ... James?... James!! ... where are youuuuuuuu James?? Don't you looooooove meeeeee?...
posted by Sandra at 3:07 AM
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Friday, January 25, 2002
BAD "CAR"-MA!!
I must say that my great and most generous friend, Conrado, and I seem to have THE worst "car"-ma around. Put the two of us together in a vehicle and all sorts of bad things will happen. As I am still dizzy, I figure it's probably not a very good idea to drive. SO, today was the day that the two birdies, Tomi and Pea-chan, had to go for their "well-bird" checkups. Their vet is in Portola Valley which is rather far away so Conrado was kind enough to drive us. Well the birdy exams well well even though Tomi screamed like he was dying for a large portion of the exam. Pea-chan as usual was quiet and even went back to the vet for a little head scratch after she was done. Well on the way home, we turn off 280-N, at the 6th St. exit and are on the ramp/overpass. The next thing you know Conrado is turning on the hazard lights and the car is slowing!
Me: Conrado! what are you doing??
Conrado: The car is losing power!
Me: How can it be losing power?!?
Conrado: I don't know, it is just turning off!
Me: OH NO! Not again!!! (we had already gotten stuck in traffic once when my other car's altenator blew)
Conrado: Let's just wait a sec. Maybe it'll start now....
** nothing **
Me: IT'S A NEW CAR!! HOW CAN SOMETHING BE WRONG WITH THE CAR?!?!
Conrado: Maybe it's the oil?
Me: but the oil was just changed!
Conrado: Maybe it's the .... ohhhhhhh we ran out of gas!!
Me: oh my god!
Conrado: Well on MY car, when the needle is on the right, it means it's full! ... I was wondering why the tank was getting more full as we were driving...
Me: Well on MY car, when the needle is by the "E" it means it's EMPTY. *sigh* oh well. at least nothing is broken.
Yes, sadly, we are both idiots and did not check the gas gauge! We were in such a rush to get the birds to the vet and back that we never checked the gas! So here we are stuck on the freeway, in the LEFT hand lane during rush hour. People are yelling and driving around us and there is NO way in hell we are going to get out of the car! A motorcyle cop shows up and tries to get us more on the side of the road - well that kinda worked seeing as we were on a hill so we just let the car roll back a bit. He says they are calling a tow truck. We tell him we ran out of gas. Police officer tries to look kind and understanding and NOT like we are a couple of idiots. I think back now and we should have had Conrado start sobbing and screaming in Tagalog, but we didn't think of it at the time. Now a police car shows up. Another goes by with its lights on. People are slowing down to check out the two asian hoodlums who have been pulled over by MANY pollice officers and have two parrots sitting in the back seat. The tow truck won't come onto the freeway so the police car PUSHES us over the hill, down the ramp and onto a side street where another police car is already waiting.
Conrado: Do you think they will give us a ticket?
Me: For what??
Conrado: For being irresponsible drivers and not getting gas?
Me: I don't think there is a law against running out of gas sweetie.
Conrado: oh ok. 'cause I wouldn't want to get a ticket.
So anyway, I have to admit the police were SO amazing, although I KNOW they were all standing there having a good chuckle, and even got a truck to show up to give us some gas so we could get to a gas station. With all the commotion I had forgotten the birds! Tomi was sitting on his carrier running around looking excitedly at everything. HE was having the time of his little birdy life. Pea-chan was sound asleep... she had slept through the entire ordeal. Now both birds are back at home and in their cages and sleeping peacefully. Conrado, too, is now sound asleep on my couch. Too much excitement for one day I guess!
posted by Sandra at 5:54 PM
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Thursday, January 24, 2002
Too cold to FTP?
While chatting with my newly relocated friend, MLY, in Oregon. We got on the discussion of her 2 cats. One of them, Blackie, I have met. The other, Cali, I have not met. She said they took some pictures but her BF (my friend and ex-coworker), Yoda (yes, she is going out with a small, green muppet in case you were wondering. shhhhh! we just don't mention it.), has yet to upload them. When I demanded that the photos be posted this instant!! well she said his response was, "it's too cold." WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?! OK! Now I realize that they have moved from SF and are now living in rural Oregon but HONESTLY what kind of internet connectivity do THEY have?!??! I think they got ripped off whoever their ISP is... I mean I suppose this should just be a life lesson and I should be grateful that I do not have to go outside in the cold to upload files... makes me wonder though... how do they send emails? Carrier pigeons? One day, will they tell their grandkids, "You kids have it so easy! I remember when we had to march thru the snow just to upload a picture!! And, you don't know how hard it was to tie little bitty email messages to those durn pigeons' legs! AND, I won't even get into what we had to do when we wanted to add an attachment!!" Just upload the pictures Yoda and I promise no more badgering! :-)
posted by Sandra at 4:15 PM
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The Dyfunctional Norm...??
I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately and what it is that Relationships and Love and other such loftly ideas should mean and what they actually DO mean in our society. And, how on EARTH is this supposed to work if you don't necessarily agree with what society has mandated... well I found this quote actually listed under "the dysfunctional norm.""It is a double set up for women in this society. First of all the men were taught that it was not manly to be emotional and that what makes them successful as a man is what they produce - and then women were taught that they needed to be successful in romantic relationships with emotionally unavailable men in order to be successful as a woman." This just confirms my belief that "romance" is just a BIG, MEAN joke played on us by some higher being...
posted by Sandra at 2:02 PM
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Things that should never be in porn...
One man's list of what should NOT be in gay erotica nor in gay porn. After reading thru it, I tend to agree!
posted by Sandra at 1:37 PM
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Wednesday, January 23, 2002
A question of semantics
So over dinner tonite I started thinking about the meaning of words and how their meanings have changed over time...
Me: Why do they call homosexuals "fruits"?
Geno: Fruits?! What about GAY?? Like we're all happy?? Please, seeing as a lot of studies say gay men suffer from depression...
Todd: and a large percentage of young gay men have tried to commit suicide! Well what about "fagot"?? a bundle of sticks??
Geno: We're good at starting fires?
Me: Yeah... but what about "fruit"? What does that have to do with being gay?
Geno: ... we're juicy??
Todd: ... we're sweet?
Me: but what does fruit have to do with being gay?! Like what KIND of fruit?
Geno: I'd be a persimmon!
Me: You're orange and sour?
Todd: I'd be a lime!
Me: You're green and tart?!
Geno: No, I'd be a fruit, PRETENDING to be a vegetable! I'd be a tomato!
Me: You'd be an imposter fruit?
Geno: or maybe an avocado!
Me: sooo you're green and squishy?!
Todd: No! I'd be a pomegrante!!
Geno: HAHAHAHA you're messy and there's not a whole lot too you?
A pretty typical dinner conversation for us....
posted by Sandra at 11:27 PM
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Monday, January 21, 2002
Quacking as an effective form of communication
Tomi the parrot has been patiently saying "good night" over and over in his sweetest voice to try to tell me it's time for me to cover his cage thus putting him to bed. Since I am a bad "bird mom" and too easily distracted by the computer, he finally gave up his efforts to communicate politely. He has suddenly resorted to quacking really loudly and persistently to get my attention. There is nothing like loud, incessant quacking to really get on your nerves! It definitely worked. I got up to put him to bed, but as I covered his cage, he softly said, "good niiii-iight." I guess he was just reminding me that "good night" means he wants to go to bed and that he should not have to resort to waterfowl imitations to get my attention.
posted by Sandra at 1:10 AM
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Movie Night!
So this weekend I got to see "Le Pacte des Loups" which roughly translates to "Brotherhood of the French-Filmmakers-Who-Jumped-Onto-The-Martial-Arts-Bandwagon-And-Suck-At-It." The very first sign that this was not going to go well was that by the time we got there, the theater was packed and we had to sit in the very first rows. That meant having to look up and read REALLY big subtitles. This in itself is not a very good thing when one has vertigo. Also, there were a lot of fast, flying-over-the-countryside type scenes, which when 20 ft tall was... well.. I'll put it to you this way... I had to apologize ahead of time to the friends I was with just in case I barfed on them during the movie. :-) So, it wasn't a bad movie if you could get past the fact that they put Mark Dacascos who, to me looks a lot like Brendan Lee, in the role of an Iroquis indian. Anyway, "suspension of disbelief" and all that good stuff. Soooo, we have a chinese, Iroquis traipsing around the French countryside in the 17th century who ALSO happens to know kung-fu! Because we all know how the Iroquis were well known for their kung-fu. Now as baffling as this all was to me, it didn't even compare to the addition of the following themes:
1. The crazy, sadistic, mute, epileptic, gypsy girl
2. The sudden ability of the main character to do kung-fu in the second half of the movie (maybe he learned it from the chinese, Iroquis side-kick)
3. The random incest theme
4. The Italian hooker/secret agent/sorceress
5. and last but NOT least, the guy without an arm who really had an arm but pretended NOT to have an arm for no real good reason that I could see.
Now, I am a huge fan of french films and I understand that sometimes they can be kinda artsy or filled with disparate images however... well... OK I JUST DIDN'T GET IT!!! I'M CONFUSED!!! *sob* oh, but on a good note, I can now mess with people and tell them I am actually native american! No more "oriental delight" for me!
posted by Sandra at 12:46 AM
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Thursday, January 17, 2002
Who is james@yahoo.com ?
I get many, many emails from james@yahoo.com, every day. Now I have a friend named James whose email address doesn't even remote resemble this one and you'd think by now I would have figured this out. But EVERY time I see an email from james@yahoo.com I open it and read it. And, then I wonder... why on EARTH is James sending me emails about how to make $5,000 a week from home, or how to enlarge my breasts or penis (which I'd think he'd be pretty much aware of the fact I don't have one seeing as I'm a woman), how to get a home loan, or sending me excellent links to "hot asian chicks" or to sites called things like "snatches-R-us." Now granted I appreciate james@yahoo.com's great concern for my financial and sexual well-being but honestly, you'd think he'd be a little better at sending me RELEVANT emails. note to self: must STOP reading spam.
posted by Sandra at 11:10 PM
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To set the record straight!
I would just like to state, for the record, that Geno who is not imaginitive enough to find his OWN ailments, must resort to coping MINE! I am not able to turn my head to the left because *I* have Benign Positional Vertigo on that side!! NOT YOU GENO!! Find you own strange illness!
posted by Sandra at 10:58 PM
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Wednesday, January 16, 2002
You can end hair loss now!
I get so much spam it's ridiculous. Like 20+ spam to ONE real email a day! But I do like reading the subject lines. So does that mean that I (personally) can end hair loss (on a global scale)?? Like bringing an end to world hunger? I, single-handedly, can end ALL hair loss on the planet?!? How excellent! ... but if I end hair loss in general... wouldn't we have a huge build up of hair? Would we end up looking like Cousin "IT" from the Addams Family?
posted by Sandra at 3:54 PM
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Tuesday, January 15, 2002
Pets just shouldn't talk...
posted by Sandra at 10:24 PM
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Zen and the Art of Pool Playing
Ok, so I realized that pool and vertigo just DON'T mix! Really hard to line up a shot when the table and balls are moving! Anyway, my friend Sage decided to torture me by dragging me out to play pool 'cause he got a BEE-UUUU-tiful new cue. I was already in my PJ's ready for bed! Well I guess that doesn't really count seeing as I didn't ever change OUT of my PJ's all day. So it was a very frustrating night of pool. Couldn't even make a shot or if I did it was pure luck! I was starting to get very upset and just plain confused. I couldn't figure out what was going on... was I sighting along the cue differently? was my stroke off? was I not lining up the shots right? After getting home I realized that 9-ball is a whole lot like Life. You play this game over and over and you think you kinda have it figured out. You see a shot and you know where you should hit it to drop it. Yet what you THINK you know does not always govern the outcome. A myriad of factors throw off the result. Like in Life, you cannot plan out your shots too far - it's good to have a plan but all hell can break loose after the first shot and suddenly it's a whole new game! I became so baffled as to why I could not make a shot I normally could... I started thinking about my stance, about how I was sighting down the cue, my stroke, how I was lining up the shot and suddenly I realized that sometimes there is no specific answer. Maybe I was just thinking too much. And, just like in life... maybe you sometimes have to be ok with just being baffled. You take a deep breath. You rack the balls again. And you just enjoy playing the game...and NOT having all the answers.
posted by Sandra at 4:07 AM
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Monday, January 14, 2002
Castaway
Possible the best performance by a volleyball that I've ever seen in a movie...
posted by Sandra at 4:32 PM
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Sunday, January 13, 2002
Sex and the City... can anything BE more fabulous?? I think not!
Such a great show! And, tonite's episode was particularly good as it showcased the wonderful dynamic between str8 women/gay men - a symbiotic relationship that has existed since time began. As is our little ritual, Toddskis, my upstairs neighbor came down to settle in to watch SatC with me. The show was SO good that it resulted in much hand-clapping from both of us and Todd yelling, "Again! Again! Let's watch it again!"... which we did! :-) Some of my favorite lines from tonite's show:
(the girls dancing in a crowded gay club)
Charlotte: I feel like we don't belong here!
Carrie: That's because we're wearing shirts!
Miranda: Seriously. Why don't straight men have bodies like this??
Carrie: Because gay men have the possibility of sex at the gym. If straight men had that, they'd be working out all the time too!
(Carrie at brunch with cute, young, gay, designer shoe distributor she picked up at the club. Note: Carrie has broken one of the fundamental rules of being a good "fag hag". One must NEVER, EVER forsake one's main fags for just a pretty face!! It's a pact involving blood sacrifices and survives throughout eternity I think.)
Stanford (carrie's best gay friend): I was prepared to lose you to Aiden (Carrie's BF) but this...?!
Carrie: ...is just brunch!
Stanford: I'm green with envy!
Carrie: yes, you are!
Stanford: Fine! Have your BEAUTIFUL brunch with your BEAUTIFUL man and then go home to your OTHER beautiful man. GREEDY, GREEDY, GREEDY!
(Carrie and new gay man, later at an exclusive nite club)
Carrie: *I'd had been so preoccupied with my gay boyfriend that I kept forgetting about my gay "husband"* You remember Stanford from bunch?
Stanford: apparently it was more than just "brunch". Carrie, don't fall for him he is just another pretty face! He doesn't love you like I love you. I knew this woman when she took the subway and wore Candies!
Man: Candies?!
Carrie: I assure YOU, I NEVER wore Candies
Stanford: You WORE pink suede Candies and I adored you ANYWAY. And how DARE you try to steal her away with your dreamy eyes and your probably fake accent!
Man: I'm sorry. I didn't realize the lady was spoken for.
Stanford: Well, she is!
Man: Alright then. Kiss 'n' make up then?
(Stanford and Man kiss)
And there you go ladies and gentlemen. Not something that would happen in real life but a very important reminder of who your friends are. Gay men are a woman's best friend. You can have a connection with a male personality that you could never have with a str8 man, especially one you are involved with. It's a strange dynamic. It is that connection (and total lack of sexual attraction) that frees you from social pressures - this man will love you and will always think you beautiful because of who you are as a friend. There are no doubts as to their motives - they don't want to get you into bed or won't just say something nice because they feel they have to. [Like the classic str8 interaction that people joke about - woman: honey does this make me look fat? man: of course not.(man says this in order to not cause a fight)] Because ANYONE who has spent a good amount of time around gay men and have tried to walk out the door in a terrible outfit will know there is ZERO compunction about telling you to march back inside to change. ie. Geno: Is that what you are wearing? Why don't you try that other top with that skirt.It looks better. Todd (when I tried to pick out a pair of big white nurse shoes/sneakers: Oh, sweetie, let's see if they have that in another color.. oh look! Here's a nice black pair! (Still don't see what was wrong with those big white nurse shoes). Anyway, here's to gay men that have women as friends! They are never to be underestimated or taken for granted. This is not to say that there aren't a few rare str8 men out there that are pretty "fabulous" too as friends, boyfriends and husbands. Those are the ones that have spent enough time around women to really get it.
posted by Sandra at 11:37 PM
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Conversations that make you go hmmmm...
 This is Pea-chan the cockatiel. I've had her for almost 8 years now and although she may not be the prettiest cockatiel you've ever seen, she is the SWEETEST.Well about once or twice a year she lays eggs (cute little white eggs about the size of a quail egg) and sits on them. I don't have the heart to tell her that they will never EVER hatch seeing as she is by herself and has no mate. Pea-chan is often the brunt of many jokes and a very popular topic to torture me with. You know, I really have to wonder about my friends sometimes.
Me: Pea-chan is laying eggs again.
Cat: Good lord, that ugly thing is still alive?!
Geno: You could fry them up an make a teeny tiny omelet!
Cat: It's like quail eggs. Geno, you eat quail eggs at sushi restaurants. You can just take one of Pea-chan's eggs and pop it on some tobiko...
Geno: EWWWWW! That's so gross. I wouldn't eat one of her eggs.
Cat (who is a vegetarian and does not understand the the subtler nuances of animal by-products): I don't see why not. She's like a little chicken. The eggs would be even fresher. I don't see the difference.
Geno: No! That's gross. It's just different.
Me: * trying to ignore both of them *
Cat: But you'll eat an egg that came out of some random bird's butt but you wouldn't eat one of Pea-chan's eggs??
Geno: Well yeah. I don't KNOW those birds. I just couldn't eat something that came out of a bird's butt I KNOW!
You know... I don't know which is more frightening... that they were actually discussing eating cockatiel eggs or Geno's last comment...
posted by Sandra at 6:56 PM
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Another reason why Sandra does not date...
Proof that online dating services are scary!!
posted by Sandra at 5:56 PM
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Friday, January 11, 2002
I'll be really happy when I stop having this dream EVERY, SINGLE NIGHT! ... I'm sleeping peacefully when my bed suddenly tips up on its side and I scramble to not slide off. I'm hoping this will go away when the vertigo disappears... if not, it might mean that Geno is actually being serious when he said that he and Todd have been coming down into my apt every nite and hoisting my bed on its side!!
posted by Sandra at 2:43 PM
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Reasons why Sandra doesn't date...
OK, as an aside, here is proof that online dating services do NOT work. This is what I got when I put up a profile:
Hello, First i want to say that you a very Beautiful woman. I'm at work right now, but i will put a Picture up of my self when i get home, but you would like for to send one to you, i will. [ WHAT???? ] I can send a short video of my self. Any way, i like what you had to say in your profile.
Do you have any kids, i don't and would like to have some one day. I work at ***** as a Computer System Engineer. I left weights [ left them where?! ] and study computers as a hobby, computers to me is some new and suppose to be hard, and that what i like, a chanllenge. [ I love chanllenges too ]
I like and love to cook, [ he likes AND loves cooking ] so you wouldn't be the only one cooking. [ nice assumption, PAL! ] I would always treat you to a nice breadfast [ what the HELL is a BREADfast? ] in bed now and then. I like to spoil my woman, it just that i like to see the smile on my lady's face, and knowing that i put it there.
I like the traval and just be with my own. [ I like the TRAVAL too! ] I looks at my lady as my best freind. Cause i look at it like this. Most of the times your best freinds tell they freinds, so if i see my lady as my best freinds too, i need not worry about her telling the world our business. I want to have and rasie my own Family. But right now i'm chasing my career until a beautiful woman like your self comes into my life. Your Truly Lacy Email: ****@whatever.com [ I am left completely speechless ]
posted by Sandra at 1:50 AM
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With a little help from my friends...
Thank god for my amazing and supportive friends who are helping me get thru this very boring, dizzy time in my life. It is not really a good idea for me to be out on the city streets, unsupervised and vertiginous. Basically I look like I'm staggering drunk but mostly I'm afraid of falling down and killing myself! Anyway, I can always rely on my friends to stop by for visits, bring me presents of sodas and snacks, and sometimes to take me out for a walk. I am able to go out and walk as long as I am holding onto someone's arm. Did I tell you how wonderful and supportive my friends are? Here are just some of the inspiring words of love and support I have received so far:
Geno (while in the grocery store): "You do realize, if you fall down I'm SO gonna laugh at you!"
Todd (me hanging onto his arm during a walk): "You are totally making it impossible for me to cruise boys with you hanging onto me like that!"
James: "I bet if you just spin really fast to the right it will counteract the dizziness!"
Conrado: "If you drank enough tequila I bet you'd feel normal."
Sage (who takes me out to play pool like this!!): "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Aleesha: "Don't worry, it'll go away. I had this once. It lasts like 8 weeks... well actually it was more like 3 months... but it gets better!"
Cat (crazy scottish chick, aka "twin A"): "Well you're just crap, aren't you?"
Thanks guys! Did I tell you how supportive my friends are? :-D
posted by Sandra at 12:02 AM
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Thursday, January 10, 2002
The Dizzy Chronicles - the saga continues...
Needless to say, my trip to the Haight Street Free Clinic may have been FREE but that was about all it was. I seem to have gotten the same diagnosis as my friend and I too have some nebulous "viral infection" that will just go away by itself. After having a fit and pointing this out to the doctors that this is the same thing they told my friend and SHE was still sick 5 months later, suddenly and miraculously pills were proffered to "treat" this mystery ailment. Hmmmm... found this all rather suspicious. So I went off to get a second opinion. Well the private doctor I found was the one who diagnosed this dizziness for what it was - Benign Positional Vertigo. Tests were conducted and many questions asked such as:
Cute Young Doctor: So what symptoms do you have?
Me: Well.. I'm dizzy all the time. It's like the room is spinning!
Cute Young Doctor: Which direction is the room spinning?
Me: Ummm... does that actually matter?
Cute Young Doctor: Well yes.
Me:Ok, it spins to the left.
So this makes me wonder... is it like when you flush a toilet in the southern hemisphere, the water spins in a different direction? If I were in Australia would that makes the room spin to the right... Things to ponder. Anyway, it seems that knowing what causes the vertigo is not really going to help much. I'm in for a couple months of sudden, unpredictable bouts of dizziness. I was advised to stay in and rest. Things that will make the dizziness worse: reading, bright lights, watching TV, lying down, sitting up, walking... from this I gather, if I sit perfectly still and stare at the wall, I should be fine. Two months, huh? I may not survive this! :-)
posted by Sandra at 11:31 PM
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Sunday, January 06, 2002
The Dizzy Chronicles
Of course I cannot ever just get a "cold" or the "flu." Instead I have to get some weird, completely stupid ailment. I am now afflicted by something deemed Benign Positional Vertigo which really translates to "being REALLY dizzy for many months with no real known cause." I've decided to document my bizarre state of dizziness as "The Dizzy Chronicles." It all started when I suddenly got up one morning ... actually the day of my last post and fell down because the room started spinning! So many bruises later (roughly a week), I figured this was not going away and decided to go to the doctor. Now, not having health insurance, you are rather limited in your options. A friend of mine suggested the Haight Street Free Clinic which I was very dubious about seeing as she had gone there herself to be treated for some mystery ailment that they deemed a very nebulous "viral infection" that will probably just go away on its own... yeah, FIVE MONTHS LATER!!! Oh yeah, that really made ME feel better about this place. Anyway, my friend makes an appt for me for that Wednesday and drives me there.
Woman at the counter: Yes may I help you?
Me: Yes. I have an appt for 3pm.
Woman at the counter: Sorry, I don't see your name ...
Me: Hmmm... maybe my friend put it under HER name?...
Woman at the counter: Oh, I recognize THAT name! [umm you SHOULD! seeing as she's been coming here for 5 months and you STILL haven't treated her for anything! geesh!] But no, nothing here under that name either.
Me: Well the appt was made only 2 days ago so it was confirmed.
Woman at the counter: You sure it was for today? [I love when they ask that.]
Me: Yes. It was for today, 3pm.
Woman at the counter: Oh! ... perhaps your appt is ...(lowering voice)... across the street?...(looks at me expectently)
Me: (completely clueless) No. I'm pretty sure my appt is for here.
Woman at the counter: Maybe your appt is across the street?...at the Drug Detox and Rehabilitation Center?...
Me: [Oh SWEET JESUS! THEY THINK I'M A JUNKIE!!!] NO!! I'm just here because I'm dizzy!
Woman at the counter: Oh wait, I remember now, your appt was changed to 5pm last minute. I guess you didn't get the message.
I sit down to wait 2 hours for my appt. My friend arrives from parking the car and asks what happened. I inform her that they thought I was a junkie. Friend proceeds to laugh hysterically. This just did not bode well...
posted by Sandra at 12:45 AM
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